December 15th, 2008

since i've visited and posted. my online life mainly revolves around multiply and facebook these days, apart from the usual emails and recipe hunting and of course, chizmis blogs like perezhilton. i was actually thinking of blogging in multiply, but i guess i felt what i wanted to say was too private to share, to personal to be reduced to a seeming update of how life has been. and so i typed tabulas.

this evening while waiting for jope as he works on yet another layout for the LSR (he's making this a career, the official graphic designer of his dept, haha) i googled him. i was on the lookout for students who loved/hate/lovehate his class, or maybe him and the funny thing was, my blog entries from years ago was still in the top 20 links. clicked on it and read through my old blog, sadomasochist, from when we were still starting up to when i left for the states. the rest i guess you can find here.

this afternoon he picked me up from the office and he said he had a surprise for me. he bought me plastic bags from chocolate lovers for my cookies! last saturday i thought i bought nice bags for cookies, but turns out, they were plastic sheets, not bags. stupid, i know.

it's really these little things, these small (but grand, really) gestures that he makes that make me smile, stop and think that god, i really picked the right one, didn't i?

it has been a very long time since i got emotional and dreamy about love and life, usually i'm just so full of rant because of the office or my weight or money or stupid little things that don't really matter. so i thank my jope, my lucky star really because he reminds me of the things that really matter. i look at him and think, wow we've been through so much and we're still alive! (or haven't killed each other!) i never thought that living through life (and marriage) could feel like such an accomplishment. i've sort of been cynical and assumed that we just go through life because we have to, ambitious and materialistic thinking that the only successes that count are the ones that included accolade or money or pats on the back from other people. i never thought that life, on its own, can be a sort of victory. over negativity, over stupid stuff, over stagnancy or mediocrity.

so here, i celebrate my life's little moments, my loved one's small grand gestures, my happiness, and i guess even the bad stuff. it's cheesy i know, but it's almost christmas. and at christmas you tell the truth. and cheesy as it may sound, it's the truth. i'm happy where i am.

ps. my mom called me earlier today to tell me that she misses me. i would have cried right then and there if i wasn't eating with a colleague, by a window table in front of our office building.

it's the little things really, that mean a lot. because they didn't have to do it, but they did.